slightly wonky


Manbaby nightmares and Etsy

 

tree

Yay!  Fall is here!  I love the colors on the trees…apple picking…apple eating…pumpkins…the whole thing.  One thing that does trouble me, however, is the dreaded Halloween costume.  My son has told me that he wants to be some kind of Pokemon.

Oh.

Great.

For those of you that don’t know, there are a billion different Pokemon characters, and none of them look remotely like a six year old boy.  Example:

pokemon 3

Seriously?  How am I going to make any one of those into a costume???  Suggestions?

What if I bought a Pokemon stuffed animal, and just strapped it to his head?  Weird?

He spends a lot of time drawing Pokemon, which I think is cute:

pokemonI think that those are made up.  I mean…I know, I know…ALL POKEMON ARE MADE UP.  I meant that these two are not “official” ones.  Basically, I’m going insane over here with the Pokemon nonsense and I need someone to talk to me about something adult and tangible.  World news?  Syria?  Ebola?  Honey Boo Boo?

Hmm.  Depressing.

Perhaps non-stop talk about Pokemon isn’t that bad after all!

So, my minor achievement (besides vacuuming) is to have actually created an Etsy store!  Check it out here.  Yes!    You can now buy some of the crazy stuff that I make!  So far, not much has happened.  The odds of anyone “finding” my stuff on Etsy is similar to the odds in Horton Hears a Who.

horton

Right?  Sigh.  It’s tough being a metaphorical dust speck.  If you have any constructive feedback about my Etsy store, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

I’ve recently gotten some fabric back from Spoonflower that I’m using to make scarves.  Spoonflower is an online, on demand textile printing service.  So, you can design your own fabric and then have it printed!  It’s kind of cool  Here’s what I made:

infinity pink 1

It’s a knit infinity scarf.  Here it is again, with more of the green showing:

infinity pink 2

I love it! I need to find a reasonable looking person to model it for me. Actually, I know tons of reasonable looking people, just not any that would be willing to be photographed for Etsy.  Hmm.  Yet again I am feeling the disadvantage of not looking like a supermodel.  Sigh.

infinity pink 5

Maybe I should take a cue from a famous artist and try this strategy for modeling?

magritteRene Magritte, Les Amants

Right???  I could even cover my head with my SPOONFLOWER FABRIC that I DESIGNED!

Would that be appealing, or sort of freaky and disturbing?  I’m thinking the latter.

Maybe I can just photoshop on a cute head?

 manbabyman, baby, manbaby by Ed Alkema

WHOA.  Okay…NOT a good idea.

Oh…nevermind.  Just let me know if you’re a supermodel and would be willing to either:

1. Model my Etsy creations.

2.  Go grocery shopping for me.

3.  Vacuum.

4.  Take out the trash.

Thank you!

 

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Poke-what???
May 23, 2014, 1:53 pm
Filed under: Fleeting thoughts... | Tags: , , ,

So, buckling under the crushing weight of peer pressure, my son is now interested in Pokémon.  No joke.  Shouldn’t that be passé by now????  Clearly not.  At the school book fair, he purchased this:

book

I’m not kidding when I say this has to be the worst book EVER.  Here’s a typical sample of writing:

Dawn’s Solaceon Contest combination is called Rainbow Swift.  When Ambipom spins and uses Swift, it fills the Contest auditorium with brilliant stars!

What. The. Hell. Are. They. Talking. ABOUT???

The ENTIRE book is like that.

Brock and Croagunk enter the Pokémon Dress-Up Contest, but Brock doesn’t expect to win.  His Croagunk is excellent at imitating Politoed, but it’s competing against Ash’s Pikachu and a champion Chatot.  But when Team Rocket tries to steal the prize, Croagunk stays in character even while it helps chase them down.  That dedication earns Brock and Croagunk first place and a prize Pokémon egg!

This is what is offered at a school book fair???  More to the point: this is what is considered “a book?”  (You’ll notice that I find no fault in the parent that bought the book.)  SIGH.  No wonder why kids today are illiterate and are in need of meds.  This book makes me want to like down and take some Valium.

The only good that has come of this book is that he spends a lot of time drawing the characters:

pokemon

I think that’s pretty cute.  Like mom…like son…spending hours drawing pictures!  Perhaps next time I should get him a book on the works of Albrecht Durer?  Wouldn’t that be more educational?  Or is that kind of beyond tiger mom and bordering more on Tasmanian devil mom?  In reality, I’m more like three-toed sloth mom:

me1

This is what I’m like most of the time.  It’s kind of sad.

I have gotten some stuff done…but the house is still a mess.  Here’s what I’ve been doing instead of housework:

blouse1

So, I made this silk blouse!  I also dyed it!  Isn’t it cool?  It was a bit longer, but it took me three attempts to hem the thing.  Sewing silk is like trying to staple olive oil.  It’s kind of a slippery mess.  Anyway…I think that I got the hang of it, somewhat.

blouse2

Hmm.  I need more practice ironing clothes, though.  So, this is the kind of think that I thought that I’d try to sell on Etsy.  What do you think????

blouse3

Because I have no standards, I actually wear what I make.  The question is not only: “would anyone else wear this?” but also: “would anyone PAY MONEY to wear this?”  Hmm.  Not sure.  I suppose if I had Giselle Bundchen to model it, perhaps.  I would have to specify in the listing that I am ONLY selling the shirt, and that Giselle is not included.  Honesty is the best policy!  Really, at that point…I could probably put a trash bag on her and sell it, right???  Hmm.  I have some marketing challenges here…does anyone who looks like Giselle Bundchen want to model clothes for me?  No?  Oh well.

If my taste in clothes is not weird enough, I’ve also taken up a new hobby: ice hockey.

helmet

I’m kind of obsessed with it.  It’s beyond fun.  It’s hard being a beginner, though, as there’s so much to learn!  There are also so many opportunities to hurt oneself!  Actually, at the level that I play at, it’s pretty tame.  Any injury that I get would probably be self-inflicted.  Kind of like this:

cork

THAT is one of my favorite movie moments.  Does anyone know what this is from???  If I had anything of value, I’d give you a prize for the correct answer.  I’ll give you a hint: Ruprecht.

Okay, well that’s enough nonsense for one afternoon!  Now, I have to “get to work” doing something besides housework.  Wish me luck!

 




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