slightly wonky


the inertia of inanimate ennui
March 28, 2014, 10:03 am
Filed under: Fleeting thoughts... | Tags: , , , , , ,

Ack!  Is it Friday already?  How come my house is still a mess and I don’t look like Giselle Bundchen?  Oh yes.  I forgot.  I’m still me.  Damn.

Before I get completely sidetracked in my usual nonsense, I just want to give a big THANK YOU to Martha Wakefield and Jeanne Williamson, who included me in their recent show.  Thank you so much!!!

Okay.  Enough seriousness.  I stopped by the deCordova yesterday with the intention of seeing whatever new and fabulous art was up.  WHAT?  THEY STILL HAVE THE BIENNIAL UP???  ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I wrote a post about it in NOVEMBER.  I think that museums would get more visitors if they CHANGED THE EXHIBIT more frequently than once a year.  *DRAMATIC EYE-ROLLING SIGH*

I just heard on NPR that fast food places are trying to come up with disgusting food chimeras to get you to stop by, such as this disgusting creation:

a-KFC

THAT is KFC’s Double Down “sandwich.” This is supposed to tempt you to come to KFC because it’s “new” and “freakish.”  Brace yourself…don’t you think that the deCordova could learn something from KFC?  YES!  Create appalling shows that are up only for a short period of time!  Why not?  Or at least have two different shows that are staggered in their rotation…or maybe just offer a free Double Down to each visitor???  That might be tempting!  (There’s a reason that I don’t do P.R., obviously.)  No joke…change the exhibit SEVERAL times a year and people will come back SEVERAL times a year. I’m so logical, it scares me.

Recently, my husband was upset that I bought an electric can opener.  He feels that it embodies the decadence and absurdity of our culture.  I think not.  I think that THIS SANDWICH represents the preposterous excess of our time.  Am I right, or what???  Again, killer logic.  Don’t tell me that you’ve stopped reading to head out to KFC right now.  (Bring one back for me if you do, okay?  My husband is vegan…SEND HELP!)

MOVING ON…As a result of my failing to personally see any new art for the reason just mentioned above, I’m resorting to giving you a link to cool work that I found online.  If you’ve never looked at Colossal, you should.  They always have amazing stuff.  Such as this:

a-jiron

Please check out this video here.  BRILLIANT!  I love stop motion animation!  I guess that’s a result of watching Gumby when I was little.  Or was it because of Mr.  Bill?  Not sure.  Anyway, it’s kind of soothing and zen.  It almost makes me forget that I should probably be doing housework.

If you decided to read this blog because you thought that it would be interesting, stop right here.  You’re out of luck.

My artist friends and I were lamenting the ridiculousness of the art world last night.  Our conversation/whining was generated by this article.  Yes, the Whitney Biennial…the Oscars for artists…is being criticized for its parasitic use of artists to generate money for itself.  I know.  Duh.  That’s how it always works.  The art world makes no sense.  If friggin’ Dreamworks gets big profits from people coming to movie theaters to see something inane like Kung Fu Panda…then it seems OBVIOUS to me that artists showing at a venue should be making a profit from admission fees.  Am I right or what???  (Say “yes” or I’ll send the panda over to mess you up.)

a-panda

Seriously.  What the heck is wrong with society?

Thankfully, my six year old son has not seen that movie.  He did recently watch Turbo.  You know…the movie where a snail competes in the Indianapolis 500?

a-turbomovie

My son got mad every time I mentioned how “cute” this snail is, zipping around a racetrack.  Apparently, this is serious stuff for a kindergartener.  I think that the whole premise is COMPLETELY HILARIOUS.  I had to stifle my cooing and/or guffaws every time the little snail zipped across the screen.

turbo1

My son drew this after watching the movie.  In subsequent drawings, he has learned to spell “Turbo.” See?  These movies are educational!!!

turbo2

He also make this Lego version.  Notice the flames coming out the back of the snail.  Nice touch.

As this post seems to be turning into an inane rant about animation, I’ll leave you with the work of David Szakaly.

a-szakaly

David Szakaly

I think that Dreamworks or the deCordova need to get in touch with him.  “Honey, I didn’t get any housework done today because I was in a hypnotic trance looking at swirling rainbows on tumblr.  Sorry!!!”

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Elves and a snacking stupor…
March 14, 2014, 9:36 am
Filed under: Drawing, Fleeting thoughts... | Tags: , , , , , , ,

My son gets angry every time I buy Cheez-its, because I eat the whole box myself.  (Gross, I know.)  Maybe they have MSG in them?  (Grosser.)  They’re VERY addictive.

I have recently discovered a new snack food to eat excessively:

pickles

I know.  Grossest.  Try them!  They’re not bad.  I still think that salt & vinegar are more tasty, but I had to try these.  I remember in Spain that they had some Lay’s chips that were flavored like a ham sandwich.  Now, THAT’S gross.  (BTW that bag isn’t empty…YET.)

I recently finished another crafty project…a quilted purse!

purse2purse1

It was pretty labor intensive.  I’m going to figure out a way to get small elves to work on these while I sleep at night.  I’m also going to ask the elves to clean the house, since they’re already up.  I’m thinking of opening up an Etsy store.  Any thoughts?  Suggestions?  Words of wisdom?  Are elves hard to find?  They can’t be THAT hard to find, as everyone else’s house is much neater than mine, so they must be using elves.

Please don’t have them take me away and put me in a padded cell.  While that might be good for napping, I’m sure that they wouldn’t give me any Cheez-its.

My son is always creating fearsome drawings:

drawing1He’s 24.

Just kidding.  He’s six.  I love the “v” shaped mono-brow that all of the faces have.  I’m hoping that this truly is supposed to be a monster, and not just me on Monday morning.  I haven’t gotten my eyebrows done in ages, so I have a sinking suspicion that this is actually me.  At least my legs look skinny.

I’ve gotten a bit of “press” as a result of being in New American Paintings.  I got to be the “artist of the day” for March 1 on this website.

artist a day 2

C’mon people!  I need votes!  I only have 28 votes so far.  You aren’t allowed to vote if you don’t give me a perfect score.  Okay, just kidding.  Make it at least NEAR perfect.  It makes me feel better about my imperfections, like my “housekeeping blindness” ailment.  Very troubling.

I also got some press in the latest issue of Artscope magazine.

artscopeRight now, this series of drawings is still up in Dedham at the Mother Brook Arts and Community Center.  Can someone pick up a copy of this for me?  I live in the ‘burbs, and I only know of one local place that has this journal.  Otherwise, I’ll have to schlep into Boston to get some.  Sigh.  Just going to Stop and Shop seems like a major hassle…don’t make me drive 30 minutes to get into Boston.  I’ll have to locate my “good” pair of mom jeans for that excursion.

I’ve recently starting ice skating on a regular basis.  I skated a lot as a kid (not gracefully, mind you) as we lived near a small pond.  I forgot how fun it is!  I hate exercising, so this is pretty much the only way to get me to move around a bit, other than telling me that a fresh box of Cheez-its are in the next room.  I’m even starting to dabble with ice hockey.  I’m pretty terrible, though…so patience is key.  Not falling on my face is generally important too.  I think that the years of playing field hockey is actually doing me a disservice.  I keep forgetting that I’m standing on two, skinny blades on a sheet of ice.  Hmm.

Speaking of ice, my hands are frozen into two claws.  I’m typing this in our unheated basement.  I’m going to stop now, thaw out my hands by sticking them in my husband’s leftover coffee, and then probably finish the bag of pickle potato chips.

THEN, I’ll move onto the box of Cheez-its…




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