slightly wonky


Crumbles…
December 21, 2012, 9:53 am
Filed under: Fleeting thoughts... | Tags: , , , , , ,

Okay. I’m about to rant about something, but before I do…I’d like to acknowledge how lucky I am to have such problems in the wake of the recent tragedy in Connecticut.  Peace be with those tormented families.

My excuse this week for not having interesting content (besides my crying intermittently as a result of the aforementioned tragedy) is that I was responsible for creating/coordinating/conducting my 4 yr, soon to be 5 yr, old’s birthday.  I am not a party planner.  I stress.  I anguish over it.  It’s not because I want the perfect party.  I want a GOOD party that doesn’t cost me what would be the equivalent of a down payment on a small house. I kid you not…some places charge hundreds of dollars to host your party…and that does NOT include cake/pizza/favors.  But, they highlight “FREE paper cups, plates, napkins!!!”  Really?

The epic disaster for my attempted DIY party was…the cake.  Let me outline for you my series of mishaps.  Let me also advise you to always have someone ELSE make your cakes…someone with nerves of steel and a clue.

Things started off okay…I greased and floured a 13×9 cake pan.  No prob.   I slaved over making the batter.  Looks good.  THEN, I poured the batter into “the pan”…except that it WASN’T “the pan”…it was a different, UNGREASED pan.  And then I baked it.  I kid you not.  I turned around to grease the pan for the next cake, and I realized my mistake.  So, cake #1…ruined.

THEN, I rushed to make the SECOND cake…which turned out okay.  As one wasn’t going to be big enough, I needed to make another.  Here’s what the first two cakes looked like:

a-cakemess

HMMM!  I actually contemplated frosting the broken cake.  Then, I regained my keen senses and realized that, much like time moving backwards and being in the fast moving lane at Stop & Shop, this was not possible.

Now, of course I’m out of ingredients for a third cake!  SO, after getting new ingredients, I bake the THIRD cake.  Now, it’s close to when we need to LEAVE for the party.  Have you ever tried to frost a warm cake?  I hadn’t until then.  I thought, “What’s the big deal?  Ok…it’s not cooled, but SO WHAT???”

Umm…yes, the frosting MELTED on the cake.

It looked like someone tripped and spilled their orange sherbet sundae all over the cake as the frosting melted into bright orange pools of pure sugar.  STRESS.  So, I SCRAPED OFF the melted frosting and rushed the warm cake OUTSIDE to cool off.  I stealthily placed it UNDER the patio table, thinking that this would protect it from THE RAIN.  Yes, it was raining!  JOY.  My parents were at the house, luckily, so I had my father be on duty to watch that some rabid squirrel didn’t come over and sit upon/start munching on the cake whist I mixed up MORE frosting (which is everywhere, mind you…along with a general dusting of powered sugar).  I finally bring in the cooled cake and frost the friggin’ thing.  Here it is:

a-cake

Okay.  Don’t laugh.  It looked MUCH worse before, if that’s at all possible.  Those odd, tulip shaped things are supposed to be dinosaur footprints.  I know.  How sad.  Do you  believe that it tasted good?  No?  Well, I don’t blame you.

ANYHOO…I think that the party turned out okay…and the cake tasted reasonable as well.  I have noticed many more gray hairs on my head since Sunday, but no prob!  At least I have hair!  Action shot at party:

a-blur

Needless to say, I understand that I do not have a career ahead of me in either:  a. event planning, b.  baking, or c.  photography.

The big gift for my son was goldfish!  (no, not the crackers…)

a-tank

AREN’T THEY SO CUTE????  My son has been asking for a fish for ages.  I contemplated the small fishbowls…but as I wanted a goldfish (not a catatonic beta fish), I opted for the slightly larger tank.  DON’T YOU LOVE IT???

a-fish1

I’ve come to realize, however, that my gift of fish has not been as met with the same enthusiasm as the grandparent’s gift of Legos.  Hmm.  Another fail.  I should have just stayed in bed that day.

Moving along…tis the season to be receiving packages in the mail, right?  I recently ordered a cool clock…one of those old school “flip clocks”.  The one I got was pretty plain…but THIS is the clock that I REALLY wanted:

a-clock

I have coveted this clock for ages.  It has different fonts that show up as it flips through the time.  LOVE. IT.  Here is a link to see it.  Did you also see the price tag? $395!!!!!  OUCH!   So, I had to settle for a more conventional one, which I am very happy with.  Still…I hold a special place in my heart for this clock.  (any of you Powerball winners out there…I’d love one for Xmas!  Thank U!!!!)  Anyway, I was talking about packages in the mail.  Here is how my clock arrived:

a-box

Package Fail

Umm….are you KIDDING ME?  It looks like an elephant sat on it whilst eating its 1,000 pound lunch of hay.  Wha???  How???

Believe it or not…the clock inside was actually undamaged.  Ho Ho Ho!  Lucky me!

Just so that you don’t feel that I’ve TOTALLY wasted your time with this post, here is some cool stuff to check out:

a-art

Adam Sherwood

Check out the video here of this crazy thing.  This is “Firewall” by Adam Sherwood.  Please check out his website.  AMAZING!  I want one for my living room (next to my $395 font clock, which I don’t actually have).  Next:

a-art2

Guy Denning

Isn’t that gorgeous????  This artist, Guy Denning.  Sooo talented!  Please check out his website here.  Look under the heading “self portraits”.  Amazing, right?  I love how he draws.  So loose, yet so accurate.  BRILLIANT!

Okay, have a lovely holdiay!  I’ll be making yet another birthday cake for my son’s ACTUAL birthday, which is Christmas Day.  No joke.  Oh, continued joy and happiness!!!!



ho ho hmmmpf
December 23, 2011, 12:17 pm
Filed under: Drawing, Fleeting thoughts... | Tags: , , , , ,

We all managed to survive the birthdaypalooza for my son this past weekend.  I think that I aged a year just in that day alone.  Basically, from the moment I woke up that morning, I was busy getting stuff together.  Maybe I missed it, but I do NOT remember my mom having to do so much work for a kid’s party.  WHAT IS IT WITH THESE KIDS TODAY????  (imagine me scowling as I look over my reading glasses, which I don’t own).

The cake…took forever.  As soon as I started to make it, I told my husband that we’re buying one next year.  Did I mention that the frosting alone had two pounds of chocolate in it?  TWO POUNDS.  I probably gained two pounds just licking the spatula afterwards.  I gave up on really making it 3D, and just settled for 3D tires…

Hey, I think for someone who had to buy a pastry bag for the first time, I did a pretty good job.  I must confess, I did have my son’s name on the cake, but somehow in order to shield him from the folly of his mom’s blogging, I photoshopped it out.  Not bad as well, right?

I thought that this was going to be a VERY productive week.  I guess that it has been, a little.  I have been sidetracked slightly, as I am making a dress for my friend’s daughter.  Here it is:

It’s cute, right?  Looks very straightforward and easy, right?  The sort of thing that someone on Project Runway could do in ten minutes with a Holly Hobby sewing machine and a broken needle, right?  It’s sad how long it’s taking me to do this.  I have sewn clothes for myself…but I have no shame in wearing my own wonky creations.  THIS dress, however, is not for me…so I’m TRYING to channel Christian Siriano whilst I stitch this thing together.  My biggest fear: that it doesn’t FIT and I’ll have to REMAKE it.  Maybe I should call the mom up and suggest that her daughter only eat lettuce until I finish this thing. 

My own work is always taking a turn for the weird.  Some of my latest drawings:

and:

Someone else’s trash is another person’s treasure!  Yes, I pulled that keyboard out of a trash can.  It was in our own trash can here at home, so I figure that makes it slightly less gross.  You can agree with me now.  I’m wondering if these B&W drawings are less exciting than the bright, colorful stuff that I’ve done in the past.  I mean…have you yawned yet while reading this?  Be honest.

I hope that everyone is having, or will have, a nice holiday.  I’m asking Santa for more sleep next year.  And fewer dust bunnies.  I have more than my fair share, really.  They’re doing some kind of “Occupy My Living Room” right now.  As long as they clean up after themselves, maybe that’s ok.

It just dawned on me that my son and husband are both home all of next week.  This is called a “vacation”.  Hmm…

 




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